I Did It Again

I spent two hours or so out in the "garden" yesterday, attempting to finally finish what I started a couple of weeks ago. I was obligated since, in a fit of garden fantasy, I foolishly committed myself to many pots of purchased garden things, which required holes in the ground, to plant.

I don't know what a hidden camera of my wrestling with the earth might reveal, but in my mind the entire event was punctuated with muttering and cursing, bug avoidance and the constant unearthing of bulbs I was trying to leave in peace.

Toward the end it got particularly bad. I was dressed for cool, overcast. Then the sun came out and all bets were off. In a haze of delerium and a cloud of gnats around my sweaty head, I wondered what it would tack to track down Ahmed and his yard crashing crew and get them to follow me home.

Ahmed! Where are you? I NEED you.

Problem is the nearest "home improvement" center is many miles away and Ahmed ain't coming to my neighborhood anytime soon.

Curses.

I can use "ain't" because I'm crazy. Like my mother, only younger.

I need someone with a vision, who will make my yard a beautiful place, cover all the costs, and give the neighbors yet another reason to call Town Hall and complain about the fact that we're working in the yard. (Yes, they have done that - when we hired someone to clean out an overgrown portion of our yard. They've also complained about the motion sensor lights we put up so we could see at night when we came home. "this is the country; it's supposed to be dark.") (OMFG I could go off on a rant. But I won't. Today.

So, my garden. It's hardly a garden. Really, in actual fact, it's just an area under the kitchen window that no longer has grass growing in it.

As for all of the other projects I anticipated for this year, they can wait until next year. Or maybe 2012. It'll take me that long to recover.