Neanderthal Tolerances

You know when you're out in nature, becoming one with it, communing, finding your inner peace and shit like that? And then you hear buzzing. So you swat near your ear but the buzzing persists. And you swat again and this time the buzzing gets closer. Like it's in your ear. And you swat again but the buzzing doesn't stop.

And you think, "what the fuck?"

And then you think you should probably stop breathing through your mouth, or something will fly in and stay for cocktails.

You know when that happens?

That's what I was thinking about as the buzzing thing tried to move into my ear. And I started to wonder about neanderthals and if they had this problem as they walked across the plains or through the woods or wherever the hell they walked. Did they think about the insects buzzing in their ears? Did they swat at the annoying buzzing?

Or did they welcome the buzzer and allow it into their ears to nest and make a hive. Perhaps build a honeycomb?

One thing leading to another the Neanderthal develop a hive mind and cannot think for themselves. There's the queen Neanderthal ordering around all the drones and workers and killing her mates because she blames them for the pain of childbirth.

And then I think "Maybe the Neanderthals were not indiginous to earth. Maybe they were an attempt by the Borg to colonize pre-industrial earth."

Oh, yes. I know who the Borg are.
And Neanderthals disappeared.

But the bugs are still here. Buzzing around our heads to annoy us. OR maybe they're trying to tell us something.

Resistance is futile.

Days of Yore

That's a big pickle.

One of the advantages to being a little further off the beaten path, but still within spitting distance of civilization, is the abundance of open space (i.e. "fairgrounds") that make it possible for things like a local Renaissance Faire to crop up within easy driving distance.

I'm talking 20 minutes from home.

Same with the local agricultural fairs. They're all within 10 to 40 minutes from our house. "All" being the ones we are inclined to go to. There are more. But we don't have to go to them because we have some closer to home.

With the exception of the New York State Fair in Syracuse. Sometimes we go to that one too, on the pretext of visiting family. But I digress.

This weekend we attended the geographically close Ren Faire. We still needed the Garmin, but when we got there we were so surprised. The fairgrounds were in the middle of a middle-class suburban neighborhood. Seriously, smack-dab in the middle.

My son, who loves the whole concept of dressing like a knight (pronounced K-Ni-Git), complete with "armor," sword, belt, helmet, gauntlets, etc, couldn't wait to get there. If you get there when the faire opens for the day, as we did, entering the grounds is a bit like running the gauntlet. All of the actors are lined up on either side to greet and welcome.

The boy, as he was dressed as knight, almost immediately found himself surrounded by the king, the prince and their knights.

Freaked him out and he couldn't face them. They let us pass without further molestation, as it were.

As we have discovered in previous visits to Ren Faires, the fun is in the games. We practiced throwing axe heads (I was pretty freakin' good!), knives and axes, and shooting crossbows and longbows. But the boy's favorite part was taunting a knight. The game is called "Smite the Knight" and is pretty much what it sounds like.

You try to hit a knight with a bopper sword while he tries to hit you.

The knight's rules: no hitting in the face or the "pouch". He wore a pouch as a codpiece. My guy got him in the pouch at least once. I had no problem with that. This particular knight was a bit of "too much cocky" as it was.

We watched some horsemen practice their skills with a lance. We watched players do terrible things to Shakespeare (for fun), we listened to musicians play the dulcimer and the celtic harp, and heard strains of bagpipes. We stood in line for far too long waiting for a freakin' hot dog. We made some purchases and got too much sun.

When it was time to leave, it took only 20 minutes to get home. And we got there before dinnertime.

In the fall, we'll have to drive farther for our Ren Faire fix. And we'll have to stop for dinner on the way home. But that's part of the fun too.

And in the fall, I will go in costume, because I realized that my fears about being seen in costume yesterday by people I might know and don't like were unfounded. Those people would probably never be caught dead at a Ren Faire. I guess it is good for me that they are so narrow minded. Also, in the fall, chances of running into anyone I know are even slimmer than they were yesterday.

Local Fauna

I was surfing Google Maps for a coffee shop near where I have to drop my son for a birthday party today when a goldfinch came to visit.

I was about to open the window and heard some scrabbling at the glass, turned around and saw Mr. Curious Goldfinch hanging out with me.

He sat there for minutes. Long enough for me to call in my son and my husband to see. Long enough for me to get up, get my camera and take some pictures. Long enough to endure a bit of movement at close range. Until I got a little too close to the window with my camera. Off he flew.

I opened the window and a few short minutes later, he was back. Cocking his head at me, looking cute and trying to get me to read his mind. I don't read bird minds, but maybe I'll take it up as a hobby.

He's hanging out with me still.

I do think he's trying to tell me something. Like "I want to use your hair for a nest", or "You look fat in that shirt", or "Get off your ass and go do something".

Geez. Everyone's a critic.

I Hate To Shop

When I have to.

I'm not much of a shopper, but it's okay when I'm just browsing and don't actually need to buy anything. I'm an impulse shopper. I buy what I like when I see it, but I wasn't necessarily looking for it. Not that I buy everything I see that I like. I have learned to appraise an object with deliberate consideration and try to determine if it's really necessary to my life.

Usually the answer is no.

But a few days ago I wandered into a consignment shop with my Mom just for the hell of it. We had just eaten too much for lunch and needed to walk some of it off. So we waddled ourselves all the way next door to browse. Y'know, for fun.

We saw some lovely things. I collect cobalt glass and my Mom wanted to buy a set of glasses for me, but since I have no room for them, I declined (see? aren't I good?)

And then I took a little detour and saw this:

I loved it and decided that this mirror I had to have.

So I took some pictures of it to show my husband so he couldn't complain about it if I just brought it home without a consultation.

He liked it! He rarely likes anything I like. So I called the shop and asked them to hold it for me.

It is now hanging in my entryway. And it looks cool, but I have to get used to it because a non-reflective picture was there before and now I have to look at myself everytime I walk by and I'm wondering if this was really such a good idea. Kind of like how I felt after I saw the blue paint on the walls in the bathroom.

OY.

The decisions we have to live with.

That'll teach me to carefully consider my impulse buys.

Pollen Green Day

I can't get over how green it is outside. Most of the trees have sprung their leaves and they're all the bright green of new leaf life. Add to that the vibrant blue of the sky and it's blinding out there in its brightness.

I am eternally grateful to the gods of nasal passages that I do not have allergies related to nature's coming out party. Although I suppose the requisite drugs might make it enjoyable, I don't think it's worth it.

Case in point, last night my son had his first evening of "track camp". He was outside after an early dinner, running the 100, throwing the discus, and tackling the long jump. This revelry lasted about an hour and a half. Later, after a snack, shower, and some reading, while trying to sleep, he started coughing this awful, barking, full body cough that sounded as though all of his insides were being expelled.

Needless to say (or is it?) that none of us got any sleep last night. He couldn't get comfortable in his bed so he slept in ours for awhile. Then back to his. Then back to ours. The night dragged on and the cough kept us all awake.

It was so bad that he stayed home from school today and is currently napping. Something I should be doing as well. But alas, I have forgotten laundry that needs attention. As well as general cleaning because I have company coming tomorrow.

I have to make an effort to clean out all of the spiders who have moved in to the various corners and window sills of the house. They're everywhere, dropping on you without a word of warning.

I think it's too green for them outside too. Unless they just feel like they're less of target for all of the hungry birds out there. We have a veritable food chain around here.

What's for dinner, Mom?

Rotisseri chimpmunk. YUM!

(Oh, please. You don't think I skewer tiny rodents and cook them on a rotisseri, do you?)

Yes, I know this is a cardinal and not a chipmunk. I may be blonde, but I'm not an idiot.

Most of the time.

On Hold

It's dark and damp today, so I opted against touching-up the bathroom in favor of running some errands. The lighting in the bathroom is really bad. Touching up would an exercize in futility.

Lately I find the prospect of errand-running extremely distasteful. I just don't wanna hafta do it. But I did want to pick up a curtain rod for the bathroom, which I did. I was going to get one in white, but it looked to "country" for what I was going for, so I chose silver instead. I went with my gut. I like it, so no regrets there. Yet.

I also wandered into Pier 1, for which I have a gift card. I've had the gift card for years, forgotten for a while, and lately burning a hole in my pocket. And today, during my browse I found an item I never expected to find. A basket - no TWO baskets narrow and tall enough for the little cubbies to the left of the sink vanity.

Oh joy is mine!

Especially when I got them home and tried them for size. They fit! Miracle of miracles. And, thanks to the gift card, they didn't cost me anything. I LOVE that!

I'm big into repurposing these days. With my unemployed condition dragging on, I'm making every effort to use what I have rather than buy something new. With all the crap we have cluttering up the basement, I really shouldn't ever need to buy anything again (she said, not realizing how that declaration could come back to bite her in the ass).

It's really empowering.

For example, when we moved in, I bought a shower curtain tension rod for the upstairs shower. But the tension thing doesn't work. I kept thinking I needed to buy a new one so the shower curtain won't roll away while someone is in there. Then I remembered I have regular curtain tension rods the right size for that shower cubicle and decided that one of those would work just as well. I used something I had and decreased a little(tiny tiny) bit of clutter.

There's also the shelf I'm going to repaint, and a shower curtain I had made for our last place that will both find new homes in the bathroom. Now I just need to go through my stuff and find enough fabric to remake into curtains.

The starfish hook, I bought. I'm not sure if I like it.

It's very exciting to rediscover a space and new uses for things that are already on hand.

Oh jeez...
blahblahblahrainbowsandbutterflies.

I need to go sniff some of that low VOC paint. Clear my head.