Howling at the Moon

Tonight is the full moon. Not that we'll see it. It's been overcast since Saturday with some incredibly torrential rains on Sunday. Since then the wind has been quite blowy and noisy. So noisy that it sounds like rain.

But it's not.

I don't know if it's the influence of the moon, the lack of sun, or just the need for a large cocktail, but my alter-ego Cranky Bitch (CB) has emerged and she's not happy. If she was, she wouldn't be called Cranky Bitch. She'd be all happy rainbows and butterflies that would make CB want to hurl.

I'm not really complaining about the weather. I've been loving it and the joy of sleeping comfortably at night. With the windows open. Anticipating the arrival of Autumn.

Do bats come out on the full moon?

Just wondering.

We kind of live in the woods. It would be more like woods with fewer neighbors, but this time of year we can barely see any of them. This is a good thing. Unfortunately we can hear them yelling at their kids and they're not shy about turning up their stereos for their outdoor enjoyment.

So much for peace. You can make a peace sign from a full moon. When it looks like a complete circle. But the full moon is not making any peace (or friends) in my house tonight.

A good howl might be just what I need. And scare the hell out of the neighbors while I'm at it. Maybe they'll think I'm a feral cat.

Do cats howl?

Re-evaluating

I've been re-evaluating. Not hard when you have hours of empty time stretching ahead of you with no plan, no agenda and no air conditioning.

My evaluations have been focused on me. My home. My clutter. My life. My savings account.

What have I learned? What indeed. I have learned that I can have a good attitude, that I can focus on what's important when I'm not focused on the daily bullshit, that my son is better adjusted when I'm calm. I suppose that goes without saying.

I recently spent a prolonged weekend with some family members, my sister-the-martyr among them. You see where I'm going with this? She's one of the most negative people I've ever known. She complains about everything but is also passive-agressive so that everyone else suffers in the shadow of her suffering.

As she is my sister, it's in my contract that I must humbly admit that I was once like this. I may still be, but I am attempting to turn in my martyrdom for some peace and possitivity in my life.

And you know what? It's working!

Oh sure, there are lots of great things about being a martyr, llike watching everyone around you walk on pins and needles, and the satisfaction of constant complaining. But, at the end of the day, you're dead.

I'm so thankful to not be that person anymore. I'm grateful to the powers-that-be that have helped me grow as a person. Especially since I may be in the midst of a mid-life crisis.

How would you handle a mid-life crisis - sport car or motorcycle. Personally, I'm leaning toward the motorcycle. It might be easier to borrow.