Musings on Small Town Relationships

Yesterday I was reading a magazine article about friendship. How having friends is necessary for your health and how friendships change as we move through our lives.


The author gave an anecdote about picking up her child at school and trying to make small talk with another mom. The other mom was, to put it kindly, unreceptive to the author's attempt to connect. The author felt that it may have been that the other mom was just not very social, until some more moms arrived and the other mom was at the center of the gaggle.

When I read this it gave me pause, because this is how I feel about many of the moms in my small town. When I pick up my son from school, which I try not to do too often, this is the very scene that meets my eyes. Groups - no cliques - of moms standing in their little circles. Excluding. There are a few of us, the excluded, who smile a brief sympathetic smile to each other. This is a place we hate to be. It's more than just being alone in a crowd. It's being ostracized by the crowd.

High school never ends for some people. They never really grow up. Just move from clique to clique.

One mom in particular has a son who, at one time, was in my son's class in school. The boys are involved in the same activities/teams, and yet not only will she not speak to me, she will not make eye contact with me. I happened to see her in the grocery store one day recently and I actually went out of my way to avoid crossing paths with her, which created a great deal of anxiety and I ended up rushing aimlessly around the store. Just so I wouldn't have to make the pretense of being polite to someone who wouldn't reciprocate. In the end, it was futile for our paths crossed anyway. I tried to be pleasant and said "hi". I got a terse, barely audible "hi" in reply. With no eye contact past the moment of recognition.
You may think, well - don't be polite, just ignore her. But, see, here's the thing. I wasn't brought up that way. I was brought up to be polite and outwordly friendly to an acquaintance.

I'm trying to get over that.

And I'm trying to understand the blatant judgemental dislike this woman has for me. Obviously, I can't let it go.

But, owing to the season, I can offer a theory...

She's a witch.