Eating Greens

The vegetable garden is bearing fruit, so to speak. And tonight, because it's so hot and I'm a bad planner, we're having dinner from the garden.

Salad.

Or, more appropriately, lettuce.

Filthy, dirty lettuce. I can't believe how much I have to wash this stuff to get off the dirt and the insects looking for a free ride. I am not one of those people who finds it exotic and exciting to eat insects.

And then there's the broccoli. Yes, broccoli. Broccoli from the garden. Hard to believe. It's a little less voluptuous than the grocery store broccoli, but it's actual broccoli. I have to say I find all this fresh produce a little awe-inspiring. Just go out to the garden, cut what you need, wash off the worm poop, cook the shit out of it, and eat it.

Yum. I'm salivating.

The thing about organic gardening is that it's probably way cheaper to buy your produce in the store. This salad we're having tonight, along with the broccoli, is probably a $26 salad.

I guess I'd better throw a little goat cheese in there.

Maybe, with the goat cheese, I can charge $28. Of course, on the children's menu tonight is leftover chicken tenders.

Yum. No worm poop on those tenders.

What a good mother am I!

But while I'm on the subject of gardening (I know, you thought I was done), aside from how our Victory Garden might put us in the poorhouse, it's a wonderful thing for the boy to experience. He goes out there with the "Farmer" (I use that term loosely) and digs in the dirt, shovels the dirt, and uses the Awesome Auger (it is!) to dig holes for little animals trying to escape from larger animals. What a learning experience. Better than private school. And way better than Sponge Bob.

Sponge Bob has been banned from this house by me. But I sorta forgot to mention it to the necessary parties.

Where was I? Oh yes... farming, planting, growing, healthy food, eductional, blahblahblah, priceless.

The End.

Boiled Dinner

I'm a pretty good cook and I love to cook for people. And I can create a meal out of bits and pieces of things that might not look like much to a less enthusiastic cook.

The one thing I can't do to save my life? I can't roast a piece of meat. I have tried and failed more times than I can count. I follow directions on the correct oven temp, and how many hours per pound. It just never works. The stupid little thermometer never pops up. I underestimate how long it will take and hours later we finally eat.

That's not to say I might not successfully roast something if, say, a small, troll-like man named Rumplestilskin was threatening to take my first born (and only) child.

But give me a piece of meat I can cook in a pot on the stovetop, and I will achieve wondrous things.

Sauerbraten. Can't order it out anymore because nobody makes it better than me. Sorry. I'm not bragging. It's just a fact.

And I made a really good Corned Beef with all the fixins on St. Patrick's Day. You shoulda been here. It was really good.